This is dedicated to the oodles of mags who's front covers shout ' How to drop a dress size in less than one week'.  I have since realised that a diet of wafers and water causes misery and that I'd rather keep my dress size thank-you.

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This is an observation of women choosing to ignore the dangers of cosmetic surgery for the sake of their ego and the pressures the media and society place on women to look a certain way.

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This is dedicated to my evil twin who secretly wishes she could smoke herself silly. I have a terrible problem with this addiction and have had hypnotherapy to help stop. Ciggies are stupid, they cut your life short so you don't get to spend as much time with your family. And they are a waste of money.

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I had two very old and very pissed off Burmese cats called Jennifer and Gook when I brought my baby home from hospital.  This image harks back to the days when I'd sleep blissfully complete with one or two cats on my pillow (and usually draped across my neck).

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Oh the shock of discovering that you can be spewed on five times a day before you realise that a tea towel on the shoulder can save you time at the washing machine. This is a fantasy of mine where I was wondering how I could make money at home (doing other people's laundry) while entertaining my baby. 
I quickly woke up to the fact that I had a zillion things of my own to wash.

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Wouldn't it be great if our scales told us how great we were instead of what we weighed?
Remember next time you jump on the scales to close your eyes and love your handles

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I was once approached while waiting for a green light by a person kindly offering to clean my windsreen.  I gesticulated wildly that I under no circumstances wanted him near my car however he ignored my panic attack and proceeded to clean my windscreen.  After squirting him with my windsreen water he called me a bunch of rude names and I drove off feeling quite anxious.  This is dedicated to that person.

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After stacking on the kilos with my first pregnancy, all I could think about was how I could return to my pre-baby size and still consume vast quantities of pizza and chocolate. Nothing has changed, I still love pizza and chocolate however I occassionally do a push up to balance things out.

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Experiencing the weight of responsibility after having my son and being confronted with my own mortality, I often dreamed about the old days of having nothing more to worry about than feeding the pets, what wine I'd have with dinner and how many fags I had left in the pack.  This scene is a 'Responsibility Free Zone'.

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This is for all the parents who know what it's like to become a ticking time bomb after months of listening to your baby crying.  I was in a dark place at the time, but found the idea quite conforting all the same.

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Ok so I gained a few kilos in pregnancy.  All I needed was a waterbed to help enjoy them.  Lots of extra bounce.

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Another dedicated to infotainment tv and the obsession with hairlessness.  A cigarette lighter will work just as quickly and is a lot cheaper.

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